Sexting is an important life skill. If the ability to pen a beautiful love letter got our grandparents the girl, today, having a baller sexting game can be the difference between a Tinder match that goes nowhere and being able to actually touch a person in real life. High stakes, people. But sexting is not only for new lovers, sixteen-year-olds, and politicians and their mistresses. It can also improve your long-term relationship. And it’s no simple task. In order to compete in today’s sexting world, you have to be the right combination of witty and dirty; you have to get the pacing right; and, most importantly, you have to master the sexy selfie.

By the way, as a ground rule, everyone should understand that if you send someone a sexy pic, there’s a 99.99 percent chance they will show it to at least one other person.

To state the obvious: When sending a nude, don’t include your face, or any distinguishing features like birthmarks and tattoos (unless you’re covered in tattoos, then I guess fuck it). Of course, once you’re in a serious relationship, it’s sort of inevitable that you and your partner are going to have incriminating pics of each other on your phones. That’s just an unavoidable risk of modern dating, along with HPV, paparazzi sex drones, and your boyfriend dumping you for a robot.

To sext is also a time where you communicate your needs and desires — so by the time you’re in bed together, you know each others’ deepest fantasies without having to say a word. Our iMessages give us permission to dream big and dare to dream with another person.

OK anyways, lets jump into the weird world of having “sexting game”

Auto Correct. Sexting can get pretty intense, and in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to lose composure. So please please please, proofread your texts! A bad autocorrect can really kill the mood. No one wants to hear about how bad you want to “duck” them, or how you’re in bed touching your “clot.”

Dick Pics Which leads me to what might be the most important rule of all: Guys, no one wants an unsolicited dick pic! This is an obvious but a lot of guys still haven’t gotten the memo. So guys, if someone asks for a dick pic, send away! But please, we need context. Include at least one other part of your body in the frame, preferably your torso, rather than the unfortunate classic: the dick and feet. If this means you need to get a selfie stick for your dick pics, so be it.

Trust. Of course, trust is essential. You probably don’t want to engage in this kind of erotica with a guy who shortly after exchanging numbers requests a picture of your tits or any idiot who sends you a Snapchat of his penis after only a few brief exchanges. Bad sexters are like bad lovers — a huge disappointment.

Cut the Cutesy Emoji There are enough crossed signals when you’re trying to convey emotions via text — why complicate it with a bunch of random icons? It’s hard for anyone to get hot for a winking panda and a couple of pink hearts. So cut the cutesy stuff, and keep this conversation sexy and hot.

It makes your life exciting Real sex has to be planned. It has to be done somewhere private and quiet, where nobody can hear you or catch you in the act, or some people aren’t into the whole private thing and are down to do it anytime and any place. But sexting can be done anywhere, any time. You can even sext at work, at the library, or just doing normal day-to-day activities. Sexting is the resourceful way to satisfy your horniness whenever it strikes. Whether you’ve been together for 10 weeks or 30 years, sexting is a fun way to keep the passion and magic alive.

Foreplay The key to sending a good pre-foreplay sext is to be only a little bit explicit with what you say. In other words, don’t go overboard. This will make him fill in the blanks with his mind, wondering exactly what you’re talking about. So maybe you’d like to see some example dirty text messages that you could send to your man.

Be Casual The more casual the relationship, the better the sexting. Sexting is positively associated with satisfaction when it came to adults who were in relationships that were not very committed. As for adults who were in very committed relationships, sexting and satisfaction didn’t really go hand-in-hand. So get out of that weird long term boring relationship, find a hot hookup partner, and start sexting. It will be casual, and since you’re not in a relationship it is guaranteed a good time. Sexting is the modern day relationship and it is becoming more and more popular and kids are starting to pick up on sexting as young as middle school.

Use Dirty Text Messages From Time To Time  One of the biggest problems people have when they start sexting is that they go overboard with it.
Unfortunately if you use dirty text messages all the time, then they will lose their effectiveness. Instead, if you want them to keep their effectiveness, then you need to use them sparingly. This way, your partner will never know when they are going to receive one from you. 

Sexting is generally something that’s rampant at the beginning of a relationship, but eventually loses steam. In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to neglect the small, everyday erotic gestures—flowers, random make-outs at the movies—that make a world of difference in maintaining your erotic conversations. 

And… one final tip.

It’s usually best not to send nudes to someone who hasn’t already seen you naked. And try to keep it classy. This isn’t a gyno exam—no one needs to see your cervix. A seductive underwear shot will be far more effective at stimulating the recipient’s fantasies than a shot that leaves nothing to the imagination.